I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
