My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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