so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
