i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
