Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
