I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
