i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
