did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
foreskin is a definite game changer
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize