im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
