i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
