Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
