He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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