Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
