the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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