Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
