so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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