Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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