My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
