Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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