I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
