definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
