ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
