i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
