He is an equal opportunity slut.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
