if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize