Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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