I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
