Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
