My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
