we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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