; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
