I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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