you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
