i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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