was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
only you would photoshop your dick
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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