oh god the rape fog is back!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
