i think my mom watched the whole time
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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