he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
