no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
