i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
