so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
