got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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