Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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