If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
