my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
