I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
