Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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