Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize