The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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