I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
