gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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