We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Text me some of your sweat
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
