I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
