dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
