yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
