A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
