I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
