OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
How's work?
Spinning.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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