Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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