but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
