Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
