I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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