my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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