your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
