I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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