i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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