hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
