For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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