I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
