He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
