Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
