im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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