First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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